I made this playlist to accompany us today, but nothing about it was random, baby.
The playlist starts with “Yearning” by Ikigai because regardless of how often we are together, on call 24/7, talking, laughing, and giggling, my heart still yearns for yours. It yearns to truly be with you. I long for the person I never knew I needed, yet somehow became everything I have ever wanted.
I yearn for you whenever I am at work, whenever we are both busy, or during any moment when we cannot talk. I crave being connected to you because my soul only ever feels completely at peace when it is linked with yours.
Even the artist’s name means something to me. Ikigai is a Japanese concept meaning a reason for living or a reason to get up in the morning. You are my reason to get up in the morning, the reason I get to enjoy each day, and the reason I have learned to cherish every single day so deeply.
The song also has no words, which I feel symbolizes how the feelings I have for you could never truly be put into words. I feel and love you far too strongly for everything in my heart to ever be fully measured or explained through language. I placed it first because it represents the yearning and love I feel for you each and every day, my love.
The second song, “You and Only You” by The Softies, has its own meaning too. It will always only be you, baby. There is nobody else, no other girl, and nobody I could ever want in the way that I want you. Just you.
Every song I picked expresses something that I feel for you every single day. Songs like “Best Part” by Daniel Caesar carry words that reflect the way I see you, the place you hold in my life, and feelings I wish I could express to you perfectly myself.
I picked these songs because they carried the feelings I wanted today to have. I wanted it to feel full of love, but also calm, warm, gentle, and unhurried. Almost every song falls somewhere around 75 to 95 beats per minute, and yes, I actually checked. I wanted the music to be easy for us to sink into and to quietly accompany everything we experience together today.
You will probably also notice that the playlist is predominantly Cigarettes After Sex. Their soft and dreamy sound reminds me of our love. Even though we have our loud, silly, and extremely lovey-dovey moments, underneath all of that, our love feels peaceful and steady.
Your love is so strong that it feels like you are beside me every minute of the day. It lingers even when we are busy, even when we are not actively being affectionate, and even during the rare moments when we do not get to talk much, which is almost never. You make me feel loved simply through knowing that you are mine and that I am yours.
The playlist ends with “Everyone Adores You (At Least I Do)” by Matt Maltese because I wanted its final song to leave you with a promise.
I will always be your biggest cheerleader, your strongest supporter, and the person who continues believing in you when you might struggle to believe in yourself. If you ever feel like the entire world is against you, I will stand beside you and turn my back against the world with you.
In the end, no matter what happens or where life takes us, there will always be someone here supporting you, believing in you, and adoring you.
And that someone will always be me.
Please keep the playlist playing quietly in the background, my love. I hope these songs become part of the memories we make today, and that whenever you hear them again, a little part of you remembers how deeply I loved you in this moment.